Vis Lupi Est Grex

Lies, Damn Lies, and Campaign Promises: Michael Cabrera

In part two of our series examining the truthiness of high profile candidates, we examine Michael Cabrera. Although the Sagebrush has already issued its endorsement (and we our annotations) to the other candidate (Eli), we felt compelled to add our two cents so we wouldn't be accused of being blindly anti-Eli or some shit like that. (In case you couldn't tell, we're not exactly fans of either candidate.)

For a position whose constitutional duty is essentially to maintain a heartbeat to succeed to the presidency (oh, and do whatever the Senate or the President may assign), Michael promised much in his race for vice president last year.

Michael's platform (see also myspace page) for veep had many points:

• Campus safety
• Sticky campus
• Mathewson-IGT (-Pepsi) Knowledge Center
• Budget/Scholarships

As lofty as Eli's platform was last year, Michael's is worse if just for its lack of specificity.

Campus safety
It is unsurprising that both Eli and Michael had campus safety at the top of their platforms given the fear prevalent on campus last year.

Michael claimed credit for having more safety walks on campus last year. Too bad he did nothing to institutionalize them while he was a senator. Like Eli, he also committed to "finishing" the emergency call box program, which was already implemented by the time the election was over.

Verdict: Michael spoke in vague generalities and didn't present anything concrete on this topic.

Sticky campus
I'll just let Michael speak for himself:

Glick's idea of the Sticky Campus can be best realized in the coming year. With the opening of the Joe Crowley Student Union, Starbucks, Keva Juice, Port of Subs, and soon all of the other vendors, students want to spend more time on campus. Michael recognizes the need for bigger, better and more events on campus. If students want to be on campus, they should be accommodated!

Uh, yeah? How?

Matthewson-IGT Knowledge Center
Michael said he was committed to the Center, or something. "Michael is pleased to hear the new Knowledge center will be opening on time. As Vice President, Michael will meet with campus leaders to accommodate the student need during this important transition."

Michael will meet with university administrators "to accommodate the student need during this important transition." WTF does that even mean? And did he even do it?

Budget/Scholarships
Michael promised to submit a budget to the ASUN President once sworn in. Did he? And why would he, as it's not even his job under the Constitution.

Michael pointed out the problem of years past of paying for all officer compensation out of ASUN's capital fund (derived from the bookstore's profits) instead of the operating fund: it undervalued the true cost of doing ASUN's business. Unfortunately for Mike, the Senate passed a law prohibiting ASUN from paying for those costs out of the capital fund (ASUN Public Law 75-52, section 108(b)(4)). So a promise that was accomplished by the time he took office and one that he had little to do with.

Michael promised to create more ASUN-funded scholarships as vice president. Did he? No.

---

As unaccomplished and disinterested with ASUN law as Eli was last year, Michael was more disengaged than Eli. And that's saying something. In fact, it's hard to tell who did less: the Senate, or Michael.

Presidential campaign
The only thing more laugable than Michael's myriad promises that we're sure he's "still working on" is his platform this year.

Budget cuts
Michael promises to "fight the crippling cuts to the University with a fundamentally more realistic and responsible approach." Uh huh. How? By working as hard as you did as vice president? I feel so relieved already.

Improving quality of ASUN programs
Michael promsies to "make ASUN programs and services responsive to actual student need." Awesome! Details?

Bringing students forward on issues
Michael claims he will "promote the student voice: Set up outreach, opinion polling, and forums for students can reach local and state government." Nice vague point, but so is the rest of his campaign.

And, our personal favorite campaign point:

Accountability
Michael will "bring back accountability and integrity to ASUN: Empower individual Senators, the Senate, the Judicial Council and the legal process, make sure there is complete transparency in appointments and the actions ASUN takes, and end the “go it alone” policy which is too often employed by the office of the President."

This one platform positions is perhaps most striking because of the outright hypocrisy it reveals on Michael's part. He will restore legal process to ASUN. Great. So name one thing he has done, one tangible thing, that demonstrates his commitment to restoring integrity of processs? Because as far as we can tell, he is just whining about the problem without presenting actual solutions.

In fact, we raised an issue with absent voters being disenfranchised during this week's election (post to follow) and it fell on deaf ears. In fact, the reason Michael declined to do anything about it was he didn't want to look like he was whining. Well that's all you look like you're doing now.

We wrote that "Eli's campaign seems to be filled with half-truths, some baldfaced lies, and an unaccomplished record," but Michael takes the cake by far. And on his one platform message that resonates with other groups, such as START, Michael is just a part of the problem of unaccountability. You cannot have accountability unless you actually hold somebody accountable.

It seems Michael's candidacy was a quick afterthought, almost as if he saw nobody was running against Eli and figured the sacrificial lamb against an incumbent might as well as be him. Does he even want the job? Michael's Web presence is decidedly lacking. His campaign positions are about as limp as a wet noodle. It's basically a dismal failure. But I guess that's what should be expected given Madam Speaker Priscilla Acosta (aka bad Senate leader) is your campaign manager.

Michael is going to lose this election, probably in a landslide. The reason: Michael wasn't a candidate; he was a benchwarmer.